Guaranteed plan for conceiving a second child
1. Let your parents know that you have decided to end your involvement in the global population crisis once and for all.
2. Go deeper into debt.
3. Buy yourself an expensive two-bedroom home.
4. Sell all your children's furniture cheaply at home.
5. Buy yourself a new supply of expensive clothing for those who decide to never get pregnant.
6. Finally teach your first child to sleep all night without waking up.
Second child perspective
Having a second child:
1. You will appreciate the wisdom of those who decide to stop at one.
2. You will question the wisdom of those who have three or four.
3. You question the sanity of those who have five or more.
The optimal interval between two children is one generation.
1. When your first baby drops the pacifier on the floor, you sterilize it and bathe your baby.
2. When your second child drops the nipple, you pick it up off the floor, wipe it on your shirt, and pop it back into his mouth.
3. When your third baby drops the pacifier, you allow the dog to pick it up and feed it to the baby.
Stable approach to clothing
1. If your second child has the opposite sex of the first, you will have to buy him a new set of baby clothes.
2. If your second child is of the same sex as the first, he will be born at a different time of the year, so you will still have to buy him a new set of baby clothes.
The consequences of amnesia
In the process of giving birth to your first child, you will make an oath to yourself never to plunge yourself into these terrible agony again ... and only when you give birth to your second child, it will come to you why you then swore to this.
Extended Mother Murphy's Law
The more children you have, the more things can and will go wrong.
The nightmare of mediation
The quickest way to go crazy is to try to resolve the conflict between your kids.
There is no lie detector or truth elixir that would help you determine which of the two babies hit the other first.
Two can start a great fight even when they are both wrong.
The doctrine of justice
1. Your children are fighting to get justice.
2. Life is not fair.
3. They fight non-stop.
The dilemma in the case of a drink
1. If you don’t give two preschool children ideally equal portions of the drink, you will provoke a fight between them with your own hands.
2. It is impossible to give two preschoolers perfectly equal portions of the drink.
3. Not a single afternoon snack can be considered complete without the inevitable question: "How did it happen that he was given more than me?"