Sexology is a scientific discipline that studies both normal human sexuality and genital disorders, sexual pathologies (the sphere of a sex therapist). Clinical (medical) sexology, is engaged in the prevention, diagnosis and treatment of health disorders associated with sexual behavior. Sexology uses the methods of a number of related disciplines: medicine, epidemiology, psychology, etc.
Despite the fact that sexology, as a science, has existed for a long time, and visits to a sexologist have become not uncommon, nevertheless, there are still many myths and misconceptions in society about visits to sexologists and about sexual health. We will present the most common ones.
Men often turn to a sex therapist. In fact, approximately 70% of those who see a sex therapist are women.
The main reasons for contacting a sex therapist: dissatisfaction with sex. The most common reasons for women to visit a sex therapist are lack of orgasm (25-30%) and lack of sexual desire (15-20%). Men most often turn to because of problems with potency.
People often come to a sex therapist alone. Not true. More often they come in pairs. However, this is preceded by a "reconnaissance raid" by one of the spouses or partners.
Women often fake orgasms, and that's okay. The diagnosis of anorgasmia is given to women who have never experienced orgasm throughout their lives or have experienced it extremely rarely. According to research, the percentage of women suffering from anorgasmia is frighteningly high. In France, researchers found 40% of women living in this country anorgaistic, in Germany it is 44%, in Poland - 33%, in Russia 27% of women experience orgasm occasionally and 18% never. It is not surprising that some sex therapists reassure clients who have turned to them for help with a complaint of lack of orgasm, claiming that this type of woman's behavior in bed is normal. In fact, most modern sexologists consider anorgasmia to be a deviation from the norm. Indeed, women often imitate orgasms in bed, fearing losing a partner. However, simulating an orgasm to maintain a relationship is not an option. Not getting pleasure from sex and, nevertheless, agreeing to it, the woman will again and again feel that the man is using her. This will certainly lead to scandals, irritation with men and subsequent separation. A woman can change her partner, but if she again does not get pleasure from intercourse, this story will repeat itself over and over again with the same ending. Which in the end will lead a woman to a mental disorder. The only right decision would be to contact a good sex therapist who will conduct a full analysis of both the physiological and psychological characteristics of the patient.
If a woman doesn't want sex, her partner is to blame. In fact, in most cases, the problem lies with the woman herself. The reasons for the lack of sexual desire (asexuality) can be both physiological and psychological factors. However, according to statistics, in 75% of cases the psychological component of the problem is the main one. Physiological factors can be: unbalanced hormonal levels, suppression of ovarian function, and many others. Before contacting a sex therapist, it would be more correct to visit a gynecologist, endocrinologist and neuropathologist and make a complete survey card. If the physiological component of a woman's libido is normal, the reason for the lack of desire should be sought in psychology. Psychological factors that reduce desire may include: anxiety, stress, inferiority complex, ineffective behavioral stereotypes, chronic psychological trauma, parental inhibitions on sexuality. Sex therapists, psychologists and psychotherapists help to solve these problems. However, one should not exclude the partner's inability, or his unwillingness to recognize and satisfy the woman's needs.
Men are prone to polygamy. In fact, to this day, sexologists have not proposed a single reliable hypothesis justifying the propensity of men to polygamy. So it is possible that this is just a myth.
The reason for the crisis of 40 years is dissatisfaction with sex. Many couples in their 40s are known to go through this period. It is accompanied by infidelity, breaking up of previous relationships, leaving home. However, sexologists still believe that the main reason is not the intimate side of relationships, but the disappearance of psycho-emotional closeness between spouses. Partners cease to be interested in each other's affairs, there is a misunderstanding, disrespect and rejection of the interests of the spouse. And, as a result, cooling in relationships, separation of partners from each other. And much less often the breakup occurs due to sexual dissatisfaction. Although it can serve as an additional factor.
After 40 years, men have a sharp decline in potency. In fact, a lot depends on our genetics. If your ancestors were sexually active after forty, you probably don't need to worry. However, one should not discount the factors negatively affecting potency: ecology, bad habits. You can paraphrase the proverb "Every man is a blacksmith of his own happiness": "Every man is a blacksmith of his potency." Everyone can increase and decrease the potency level. According to sexologists, the most common causes of decreased potency are: smoking and alcohol abuse, neuroses, physical inactivity, monotony in sex, infections. But, for example, prostatitis is not considered a contraindication to sex. On the contrary, having sex regularly helps prevent and treat it.
If there is no erection, only Viagra will save. Taking Viagra eliminates the symptoms of a weakened erection without eliminating the cause itself. That is why, first of all, you need to consult a sex therapist. There are many methods for treating erectile dysfunction: restoration of impaired blood circulation, correction of hormonal levels, physiotherapy, etc. Working with a psychologist, getting rid of the "failure expectation syndrome", depression, increased anxiety also contribute to solving the problem.
Long-term use of Viagra can be addictive. Psychological dependence can develop with any medication. But drug addiction to sildenafil (drugs like Viagra) does not develop.
If a person often thinks about sex, this indicates his sexuality. Rather, this is due to the lack of sex. After all, if we are missing something, we think about it more often. But as soon as the need is satisfied, we turn our attention to other things. If a person constantly thinks about sex, then sexologists are likely to diagnose him with neurosis.
It is better to start a conversation about sex with a child during puberty. Wrong. At this time, it is time to end the conversation about sex. For the first time, you need to start talking with a child about sex at the age of 3-4 years - it is then that children first voice their interest in this issue. It is necessary to explain in words that are understandable for the child, you should not limit the child in questions, but you only need to answer them, without adding unnecessary information from yourself. It is better to start this conversation with a story about love and affection. The first associations with sex in a child should be associated with love, loved ones. The task of parents is to convey to the child that they love each other, and express this in gentle words, kisses. After all, it is family relationships that form an example for children to build their own gender-role behavior in the future.